I Really Am Thankful

So tomorrow is Thanksgiving, the day to think about and reflect upon all we are thankful for. So why am I in such a crappy mood today? I am having a terrible "woe is me" day, feeling sad and sorry for myself. And I really hate feeling this way. I really hope I snap out of it before we get to our first family meal tomorrow.

I had a miscarriage almost four months ago. When I first found out I was pregnant this past summer, I was so excited, thought immediately about how I'd have a big ole belly at Thanksgiving, and be so wonderfully uncomfortable at Christmas. The timing was almost the same as when I was pregnant with Baby Girl, so I knew how big, how uncomfortable, I'd be, and how great it would be to be at that point in my pregnancy during the holidays. So now here I am, the day before Thanksgiving, flat-bellied. (Well, okay, not exactly flat, yeah I could stand to lose a few, but you know what I mean.)

I also thought I had dealt with the miscarriage, thought I was emotionally okay. But realized today that I am not. I had hoped Hubby and I would be able to share good news with our families for the holiday, to tell them that we were pregnant again. But, well, according to that awful "-" sign on the HPT, we will not be sharing that news. I really thought we had nailed it this month. But, we didn't. And now I am feeling all the hurt, all the anger, frustration, that I thought I had gotten past, I am feeling it all again today.

But, tomorrow is another day. We will be around lots of family, eating lots of yummy food, and I will remember first and foremost that I truly am blessed with a wonderful life. I AM THANKFUL for Hubby, Baby Girl more than anything, and my wonderful family and friends. I hope I have good news to share with them very soon.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!